I'm Niki. Lover of every female body. Forever uninterested, seemingly emotionless, and sarcastic - yet still a hopeless romantic. (Gay af)

"Dream A Little Dream Of Me" — The Mamas & The Papas

"Pyramids" — Frank Ocean

"I Saw Water" — Tigers Jaw

"Fade Into You" — Mazzy Star

"Foxy Lady" — Jimi Hendrix

My therapist is teaching me how to pick away the thoughts that cause me to hurt myself, and I had never realised how hard I am on myself. I really am my biggest critic and fuck, I’m so sorry, self.


"War Pigs" — Black Sabbath

I know I promised to stop, but I’m doing it again and… and fuck, I’m so sorry.


"Us and Them" — Pink Floyd

"Your Planet" — Chrome Sparks

I hate how broken and fallen apart I’ve let myself become. I hate the I gave so much of myself to someone so quickly, I hate that the person I fell for broke boundaries with me more than enough amount of times to realise that their time wasn’t worth mine. I hate how even though it was enough to make me leave, I didn’t. I’m so heart broken, and I hate how hard it is to even bare thought of you. I’m too afraid to be with you, and I’m too afraid to be without you. Fuck, dude. Why me?


So I’m at the cafe in my uni right now and I always use my laptop here right? So anyways I go to my old drug blog to look at a song I rebloged the other day for remembrance sake, and the playlist I set up on there starts okaying and a huge rush of drug paraphernaliac nostalgia hits me as the playlists changes songs. Fuck, I can remember all of my trips and all the nights I spent awake coming to peace and learning about my inner soul. I miss this.