I'm Niki. Lover of every female body. Forever uninterested, seemingly emotionless, and sarcastic - yet still a hopeless romantic. (Gay af)


"Dream A Little Dream Of Me" — The Mamas & The Papas

"Pyramids" — Frank Ocean

"I Saw Water" — Tigers Jaw

"Fade Into You" — Mazzy Star

"Foxy Lady" — Jimi Hendrix

My therapist is teaching me how to pick away the thoughts that cause me to hurt myself, and I had never realised how hard I am on myself. I really am my biggest critic and fuck, I’m so sorry, self.

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"War Pigs" — Black Sabbath

I know I promised to stop, but I’m doing it again and… and fuck, I’m so sorry.

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"Us and Them" — Pink Floyd

"Your Planet" — Chrome Sparks
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I hate how broken and fallen apart I’ve let myself become. I hate the I gave so much of myself to someone so quickly, I hate that the person I fell for broke boundaries with me more than enough amount of times to realise that their time wasn’t worth mine. I hate how even though it was enough to make me leave, I didn’t. I’m so heart broken, and I hate how hard it is to even bare thought of you. I’m too afraid to be with you, and I’m too afraid to be without you. Fuck, dude. Why me?

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So I’m at the cafe in my uni right now and I always use my laptop here right? So anyways I go to my old drug blog to look at a song I rebloged the other day for remembrance sake, and the playlist I set up on there starts okaying and a huge rush of drug paraphernaliac nostalgia hits me as the playlists changes songs. Fuck, I can remember all of my trips and all the nights I spent awake coming to peace and learning about my inner soul. I miss this.

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